Here we are, Day 2 of traveling across the United States from Michigan to California to chase our dreams and I have learned some fabulous things about my relationship with my husband, my family, myself and my dreams.
I look forward to sharing them soon. But for now, I just want to share the few things I’ve learned about the flyover states.
1. There’s no Shell gas stations in Iowa. Try having $150 in Shell gift cards and only passing “Kum & Go” gas stations. (& what type of name is “Kum & Go” anyways, really? That was REALLY the best you could do?!)
2. Aside from Lincoln and Omaha, there is NOTHING in Nebraska. This also has become the number one reason I HATE that state in particular. I will NEVER be a fan of anything Nebraska related. Not NCAA sports, not people, NOTHING. (I may be a little carried away, but I seriously hated it that much.)
3. The Wyoming speed limit stays between 75 mph and 80 mph. This would be super exciting… If we could actually do 80 mph. Or, if there was, like, a slower speed limit for the huge semis that pass me while my poor baby Dodge Journey can only do 55 mph because of this trailer attached to her. It was definitely a point of anxiety today. & extremely depressing for a little ways. Who doesn’t wanna fly down the highway and envision them self in a montage of cross-country travel. 😂😂
4. Cows. Everywhere. And they don’t look like the ones on TV. I haven’t seen a black and white spotted cow since I left Michigan. Only black ones. I’ve stereotyped cows my WHOLE life. It makes me feel like a life-long speciesist now! (YES, that’s a thing. If you don’t know about it, I can tell you who does! GOOGLE.COM. She knows EVERYTHING, girl.)
5. No sane person should EVER drive this trip alone. It would surely put them to sleep. But don’t drive it with someone you can’t talk to about ANY and EVERY thing either. Because you surely run out of things to talk about when you’re in the middle of nowhere (read: Nebraska).
6. Also, while driving 80 mph, in the dark, we drove past a sign that said something along the lines of “watch for livestock”. What about this makes sense to you? ‘Girl, just go ahead and do almost 100 mph. But make sure you stop for them Buffalo when they cross.’ 🤔 what? I’m pretty sure the reason the speed limit is so slow in certain areas of Michigan has SOMETHING to do with the deer that like to use your car to commit suicide. 🤔😠 But, what do I actually know?
7. And since we’re on the topic of strange street signs: why is it when you tell me to drive faster, you make me try to read longer street/road signs? I can’t read a paragraph driving past it at 80 mph! (Well, I have time to read them because we’re driving slow, but you get the point. 😂)
My last one is completely off topic, but important so whatever, don’t judge:
8. I never realized how important SnapChat Geotags are! Every stop we made, we were looking for one. And the level of excitement we would have when we found one was unrealistically and unnecessarily high. Here’s some of the ones we found.
So, that pretty much wraps up all my rants for day 2!
– Mama.Meltingpot 💋
7 Things I do to Remind My Husband I Love Him
My husband and I got married in 2014. Halloween 2014, to be exact. Before you ask, it really wasn’t on purpose. That was the next available date at the courthouse. We were ready to be married. We were ready to commit to each other. I’m not really sure when the “honeymoon” phase of marriage ends, but we’ve been consistently the same, even though life has been rapidly hitting us in the face. I mean, quick fire. Speed round. IT’S. BEEN. REAL.
So, here we are, almost two years later and I’m still happily married to my best friend. As marriage should be, right? Well, apparently we are a different kind of couple. Because we do things like ‘talk to each other’. No lie. My mother-in-law told J that she’s never seen a couple talk the way we do. She even went so far as to say she and her husband don’t talk to each other the way J and I do. When he told me, I was confused. I was shocked. I thought all couples were like this. So, then I got to thinking. What makes us talk to each other so much? People comment on our relationship all the time. Not just the generic, “Oh you two look so happy.” So, I thought maybe I should share some of the things that I made an effort to do that I have found boosted our relationship. I really would like to know if these things are normal in other relationships as well, so let me know below!
Sure, you can look at things like this that tell you all the things you shouldn’t do, but I figured maybe some actual anecdotal points might be helpful, too. Besides, numbers 7, 10, 12, and 16 are all relevant to my points, too.
- Be interested. I’ve become interested in the things that he likes. I don’t just listen to him talk and nod as a response, we have whole conversations. I talk to him about things that I am invested in, but I also talk to him about things he’s interested in. For example, I’ve always wanted to be a football fan, genuinely. I mean, I really have. But, I was never in a relationship where I felt comfortable enough to ask questions. Every time I would ask a question in the past I felt completely put down and belittled, like I was already supposed to know the answer. But, I can ask J questions. Any questions I want to ask, he’ll answer. I can debate with him and even if I’m wrong, he’ll still hear me out and then kindly explain to me why I still don’t know what I’m talking about. You’d be surprised how much fun being told you’re wrong is when it’s coming from someone who loves that you’re talking at all.
- I call him on his shit. Excuse my language, but it is what it is. I love him, and there are some things he needs to work on, just like there are some things I need to work on. He calls me on my shit, and I call him on his. In order for any relationship to evolve, discomfort will have to happen. It’s definitely uncomfortable telling someone you love that they need to fix something. But, we always come into the conversation with love and honesty. I get irritated, undoubtedly, as does he. But we know the difference between being mad at each other and being mad at the situation.
- Be friends. J is my best friend. He’s the person I go to about everything. We celebrate each other. We play around. I act like his annoying little sister all too often. The other night we were laughing so hard that I started sobbing. No television, no cell phones. Just us talking, wrestling around, laughing and crying. We are friends first. I joke with him about things that I know are acceptable to joke about. I know his boundaries and he knows mine. We don’t intentionally push each others buttons to the point of anger.
- Cheer for him. I am constantly asking J about what and where he wants to be. I am constantly asking him what he needs to do to get there. I don’t want him to ever think that he can’t do what he dreams because he’s married. We are his support. So, I remind him of that constantly. I make him think about what he wants, because sometimes we get a little comfortable and we stop thinking about advancement. I don’t ever want a member of our family to stop aspiring to do new things. I constantly am asking him about what he wants and how we will get him to that level. Alongside sharing that, I share my goals with him as well. He and I both know that the support is mutual.
- Thank him. I, personally, think this is one of the most important things that I do and that I may not do it enough. But, simply put, I just thank him for choosing to be a part of our lives. He chose a hefty responsibility when he chose my daughter and I. He didn’t have to accept us. He could’ve easily said that we were too much. But, he didn’t. I am forever grateful for that, and as much as I tell others, I tell him too. Like I said, I should probably tell him more.
- Keep it TOGETHER. I’m used to handling everything. For four years, before J came into our lives, I made every decision. Every. Single. One. You do what you have to in order to survive but if there is one thing I’m absolutely thankful for in this relationship it’s that he doesn’t just say, “whatever you want” and call it a day. He works through things with me. When I ask what he thinks, he sits down and plans with me. We do things TOGETHER. We brainstorm solutions to our problems together, we mess up and create more problems together. Whenever I have a doubt, he reminds me that we are in this together. That together-ness, honestly, keeps me together.
- Don’t backstock. I don’t quite know how else to say this, but I currently work in retail, so let’s go with that. Lets use pillows for an example. In retail, when you’ve filled up the space where pillows belong and you still have more, you gotta find a spot for them. You find a space in the back of the store to put them until you can make room for them on the sales floor. Think of your pet peeves, irritations, and problems as pillows. Don’t let your pet peeves, irritations and/or problems pile up so much that you have to take them elsewhere to store them. When I have a problem with J, I immediately address it with him. I don’t think I’ve ever waited longer than a few hours. I just can’t handle 1) being upset with him and 2) an unaddressed problem. I’m willing to fight with him because we understand our boundaries and that the other isn’t going to leave over an argument. I don’t let problems get piled up. Since I don’t let problems get piled up, I don’t have to find another place (outside the home) to backstock my irritations. They all are immediately taken care of and we can move on. If you need some ideas on how to talk to your partner, you can look here.
So, what do you think? What are things you do in your relationship that make it fun? Let me know below!